The aura of a classical musician

I've always wondered why classical musicians carry that presence and have that aura that I've only seen in very few people, mostly those who have been meditating for many years. While always generally aware of the rigors and discipline involved in become a good classical singer, it didn't make sense why others who work just as hard in whatever they are involved in do not achieve the same spark in their eyes.

Living in a gurukul for Dhrupad, probably the toughest (widely considered so because of the rigorous voice training it involves and the near inhuman levels of perfection and understanding of "sur" or musical notes and 'shrutis" or microtones) and most puritan form of Indian Classical music still in existence today since the past two weeks, I am beginning to understand why.

For one, we work really hard. My official schedule involves getting up at 4.15-4.30 am every day and developing the lower octaves of my voice and going to bed by 10- 10.30 pm after about 7-8 hours of direct vocal practice apart from which I have my class with my gurus (The Gundecha Brothers, Padmashri award winning artists, amongst the senior-most dhrupad singers today) for a couple of hours, spend another hour or so listening to dhrupad recordings of my gurus and other senior artists of today and yesterday, occasionally read about music and discuss music with the other musical aspirants of the gurukul. But then, all those I know in the corporate sector including many friends, my father and sister and other acquaintances also work really hard. My mother works really hard at home. A lot of people work really hard at what they're doing. What makes classical musicians different?

The nature of the art is extremely introspective. We spend hours listening to the tanpura and synchronizing our body, mind and soul with it, and in the process achieve unknown levels of insight into our own consciousness. When asked why dhrupad is so difficult, Ustad Fariduddin Dagar, my gurus' guru replied saying "Who says it is difficult? In dhrupad you have to be able to tell the truth; that's it". Its a way of life. The other day while trying to stabilize my voice while singing in tune, I went deep in and discovered deep rooted traces of impatience that was manifesting as an unstable voice. My voice stabilized to a significant extent after that. Each note of the octave has so much to reveal. Just yesterday our guru showed those present the difference in the shades of the "Re" or the major second note in two different raags and how the exact same notes in two different raags sound and are different. For those initiated, he sang Yaman and Bhupali. Yaman was sung omitting the Ma' and Ni to make the notes technically same as the ones in Bhupali. But the flavor and sound of each note was very different.

A senior classical musician is one whose level of awareness to such minute and minuscule changes in frequencies and tonal projections is just so far advanced that it naturally seeps into other aspects of his/ her life and brings them to a state of a generally heightened sense of being and hence they manage to command that presence that they do and have that aura around them at all times. Its amazing.

When I landed here, for the first few days, I couldn't understand the demand to increase/ decrease the pitch by my guru while teaching other students, let alone my own. After two weeks of intensive practice and listening, I am now able to identify the minute frequency differences that they point out so obviously. The next step is to identify these same flaws in my own singing and correct it, followed by a stage where these errors (however minute) do not occur at all. The entire process will easily take a few years at least, and I'm looking forward to all the learning and growth I know is in store...