The aura of a classical musician

I've always wondered why classical musicians carry that presence and have that aura that I've only seen in very few people, mostly those who have been meditating for many years. While always generally aware of the rigors and discipline involved in become a good classical singer, it didn't make sense why others who work just as hard in whatever they are involved in do not achieve the same spark in their eyes.

Living in a gurukul for Dhrupad, probably the toughest (widely considered so because of the rigorous voice training it involves and the near inhuman levels of perfection and understanding of "sur" or musical notes and 'shrutis" or microtones) and most puritan form of Indian Classical music still in existence today since the past two weeks, I am beginning to understand why.

For one, we work really hard. My official schedule involves getting up at 4.15-4.30 am every day and developing the lower octaves of my voice and going to bed by 10- 10.30 pm after about 7-8 hours of direct vocal practice apart from which I have my class with my gurus (The Gundecha Brothers, Padmashri award winning artists, amongst the senior-most dhrupad singers today) for a couple of hours, spend another hour or so listening to dhrupad recordings of my gurus and other senior artists of today and yesterday, occasionally read about music and discuss music with the other musical aspirants of the gurukul. But then, all those I know in the corporate sector including many friends, my father and sister and other acquaintances also work really hard. My mother works really hard at home. A lot of people work really hard at what they're doing. What makes classical musicians different?

The nature of the art is extremely introspective. We spend hours listening to the tanpura and synchronizing our body, mind and soul with it, and in the process achieve unknown levels of insight into our own consciousness. When asked why dhrupad is so difficult, Ustad Fariduddin Dagar, my gurus' guru replied saying "Who says it is difficult? In dhrupad you have to be able to tell the truth; that's it". Its a way of life. The other day while trying to stabilize my voice while singing in tune, I went deep in and discovered deep rooted traces of impatience that was manifesting as an unstable voice. My voice stabilized to a significant extent after that. Each note of the octave has so much to reveal. Just yesterday our guru showed those present the difference in the shades of the "Re" or the major second note in two different raags and how the exact same notes in two different raags sound and are different. For those initiated, he sang Yaman and Bhupali. Yaman was sung omitting the Ma' and Ni to make the notes technically same as the ones in Bhupali. But the flavor and sound of each note was very different.

A senior classical musician is one whose level of awareness to such minute and minuscule changes in frequencies and tonal projections is just so far advanced that it naturally seeps into other aspects of his/ her life and brings them to a state of a generally heightened sense of being and hence they manage to command that presence that they do and have that aura around them at all times. Its amazing.

When I landed here, for the first few days, I couldn't understand the demand to increase/ decrease the pitch by my guru while teaching other students, let alone my own. After two weeks of intensive practice and listening, I am now able to identify the minute frequency differences that they point out so obviously. The next step is to identify these same flaws in my own singing and correct it, followed by a stage where these errors (however minute) do not occur at all. The entire process will easily take a few years at least, and I'm looking forward to all the learning and growth I know is in store...

Jumping into a well...

When I was standing at the edge, with nothing to do but take the plunge, it was scary. I knew more or less what the experience was going to be like. I knew it could be done safely(I saw a person jump in before me)... But I was still apprehensive. The second time was a piece of cake.

In my childhood, owing to the nature of my dad's job, we would shift cities every 2-3 years and I would have to join a new school each time. The first day was scary in the same way. I knew more or less what school would be like, having been in one before too :P But it would still take a few days to be at ease. Venturing into the unknown, while always generating feelings of apprehension and fear, also gives a sense of excitement and enthusiasm. It keeps one alive and helps one live in the moment. I've gone through many such experiences of stepping into a dark room with a torch, fumbling until I find the light switch, yet its amazing how each new room comes with its own fresh thrill of excitement and apprehension. A new school and new residence (new social group, new place etc...) every 2-3 years, my time in Vijayawada for my JEE preparation (one of the tougher ordeals I've been through), my admission into IIT, travels and experiences acquired while volunteering with the Art Of Living Foundation, social and cultural activities in and out of campus through my college life, internships and summer travels in various cities of the country ranging from Kanyakumari to Jammu, including 2 Himalayan summits in between and various other instances.

In all of this, I've always had amazing people helping me through various stages and also a fair share of sour grapes, making each journey more interesting, challenging and more memorable.

Recently, I shifted to Bhopal to study Classical Music at a gurukul in Bhopal. It being a completely new city (its more of a large town actually :P) to me, my initiation into the "Bhopali way of life" was made much easier by Rini (friend and co meditator from IIT) and her family. My life in Bhopal started amazingly with a superb Mrityunjaya Homa early in the morning at her home, followed by a short and sweet satsang. Then after a day of chilling, I visited my home for the next phase of my life, a small ashram-like setting seemingly in a different planet, far far away from the entropy of the city with almost no physical connectivity to the outer world. Though I was a bit apprehensive about the complete lack of external connectivity, I was looking forward to start my musical journey. After visiting a friend in Indore for a couple of days before my gurus could arrive, I returned to the Gurukul and it began...

Stranded in Jammu...

I wasn't really stranded in Jammu. It just felt like such a catchy title... :P More about that incident in the post.
Let me start at the end. The end of my BTech from IITB. 4 amazing years... Made some really amazing friends, met some amazing people, went through some amazing times... Learnt a lot. Saw a lot. Felt a lot.

After I was done, I had around 2 months without any agenda before I had to leave for my education in music. So I decided to make use of these 2 months as best as I can. And I'm happy to say that I did do this. I climbed snow clad peaks in the Himalayas (escaped the Himalayan Tsunami by just a few days.. Thankfully), traveled with friends around Mumbai, Bangalore, Punjab, Delhi and even Jammu, worked with the Art Of Living rural empowerment team in an intensive training program in Maharashtra and even went on two mini pilgrimages with my parents and sister.

These last two months were very very active, with a lot of travel and I had great fun and again met some awesome people and saw some amazing things. Travel is an amazing thing to do. Especially if you are on a low budget and without any fixed plan and not afraid to rough it out. You get to see the country in a different light, understand how her people live and what they go through, see all the beauty she truly has to offer and fall in love with her, her people and her places. About the time in rural Maharashtra with the Art of Living team, I'd written a post before. If interested, do check out this.

A group of us from IIT had gone a 11 day trek to a place called SarPass in the Parvati Valley region of the Western Himalayas. Having done the Basic Mountaineering Course, I had spent a month in the Himalayas few years back and was already smitten by the beauty there. The life is terribly difficult in the mountains; more so than one can ever imagine or expect. But it still captivates and calls back those who have been there. You get closer to nature than anywhere else in all its beauty and glory and a newfound respect for nature is born in you. You also get glimpses of nature's fury and majesty and learn not to mess with her. If unlucky, you get more than a glimpse... We had a bit of trouble with the weather, though now we realize we got away with very very little hardships, compared to what we would've had to go through if we were even a few days late.
After this amazing tryst with the beautiful Himalayas, 3 of us went on to Chandigarh and Amritsar with a couple of other friends. Punjab is an amazing state. The people there live straight from the heart and make you feel at home right away. And the Golden Temple in Amritsar is a must visit for all. The energy and spiritual ambiance there is simply amazing, and I have had some of my deepest meditations sitting in the courtyard by the pond there.

Then 3 of us went on to the famous Vaishno Devi temple in the state of Jammu. Visiting the temple involves a 14 km trek up a mountain and back. The purpose is so that if you walk so much uphill, all the restlessness in the body and mind get finished and you become mentally and physically calm when you reach up. It is then much much easier to get into a meditative state near the shrine and experience the joy within. While climbing, it was very sunny. But when we reached the top, the skies were covered and we were caught in a really heavy downpour for a couple of hours. It was freezing cold and the really heavy winds made it even more tough to bear. But the rain eventually let away and we were able to resume with just a small experience of the fury of the mountain monsoons. One of my friends (Tau a.k.a. Sumit) whose dad is in the army got us in through the army line, and saved us almost 10-12 hours in all. Thanks to him, we could return the same night. I had to be back in Chandigarh to see off a close friend who was leaving the next day, and this wouldn't have been possible if not for "Tau"!

Now coming to the "title story". We reached Katra (the town at the base of the mountain of Vaishno Devi) at around 1 am and found that there were no buses to Chandigarh/ Delhi. At the bus stand, there were buses leaving to the town of Jammu, about an hour away and the conductor very convincingly assured us of buses to Chandigarh and trains to Delhi from there. On reaching jammu, Tau proceeded to the station to go to Delhi and I got down at the "bus stand", a stretch of road beside a bridge, with a few buses parked for the night. On asking around the few people who were loitering there, I realized I was not going to get any buses to Chandigarh until the next afternoon. A few private car owners offered to take me to some other place from where there were assured buses to Chd for a few hundred rupees, but they seemed to just be running their business. After interacting with few people at a shop that was still open and a police officer, and validating data from different sources, I boarded a Roadways (the government bus service. Not very comfortable, but very very reliable) bus to Jalandhar, got down at a place called Dassuan at around 4 am, and got onto a bus to Chandigarh from there at around 5 am. For the benefit of all those reading this, know that you will never be truly stranded in North India thanks to the amazing Roadways there. At about 1 Re per km, these buses connect the entire North India if not directly, atleast with a few changes, throughout the day and night! But just be aware and ask the right people for information.

After spending a couple of days at Chandigarh, I went on to Delhi, spent a couple of days with friends there, visited the beautiful Akshhardham temple there (another must. Its amazing!). Stayed with a senior from IIT who quit a high-paying job in a top tech firm to prepare for IAS there. Then it was back to Bangalore; home after a long trip. Spent a lot of time with my seniors from IIT here and Art Of Living volunteers. We had a lot of fun here too. Early morning Yoga sessions, bike trips around the city and to the ashram to meet Guruji, organizing courses in the city and our own personal masti around the city.

Now I'm relaxing for a few days at home, still spending time with friends and volunteers in Bangalore, getting ready to go to Bhopal to learn music and begin the next phase of my life. All excited... :D